


Regression to the Mean

by ambientbliss



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alpha Derek, Deaton is vague, Depression, Derek Feels, Derek doesn't express himself, Dubious Consent, Hurt Stiles, Loss of Virginity, M/M, POV Stiles, Pixies are Assholes, Protective Derek, Scott is a Bad Friend, Stiles does but doesnt have regrets, isaac is a good friend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 20:13:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9012793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambientbliss/pseuds/ambientbliss
Summary: Deaton always talks about Regression to the Mean, but Stiles doesn't believe that this is as good as it can get. How is this even that great?





	1. Regression

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd

Deaton had once told Scott about the regression to the mean. He explained it to Stiles the summer before their Junior year. Everything seemed to be going well in Beacon Hills. The Kanima had been dealt with, there was word of an Alpha pack making it's way toward Beacon Hills but Derek nor Peter seemed worried about it. Stiles was enjoying the silence for once. Running for your life every night was starting to get tiresome, and the whole lying to his dad bit wasn’t making this any better. So when there was quiet for once, Stiles embraced it. 

He and Scott had been out at the movies. Stiles finally dragging Scott to see the Avengers. Thanking the gods that the theatre owner decided to do replay wednesdays and reshow movies. Stiles never told anyone but he thought of the misfit werewolf pack as the Avengers, everything always being okay in the end. The two were on their way home when Scott brought it up. 

“Everything is going too good right now.”

“Well. Everything is going too well. And what is that supposed to mean anyways?” Stiles continued to watch the road. Scott shook his head, then looked out the window at the half moon. 

“You have been around Lydia too much. Deaton told me about this thing called regression to the mean. Something about nature calling for balance. If something is too good eventually something bad will happen to even it out, or the other way around.” 

_Another one of Deaton’s ominous warnings._

Stiles just sighs. He knew it would happen eventually. Some big bad would make their way to Beacon Hills and then they would be back to running for their lives. But he wasn't sure that this was the best point, couldn’t things still get better? 

“Deaton is always full of mysteries. I don’t doubt the truth in that but…” he tapped his thumb anxiously on the steering wheel, “Couldn’t things still get better? I mean you and Allison aren't back together yet, Lydia is still figuring out what she is. There is no what this is the peak of good.” 

Stiles wasn’t going to believe this was it, the best they were going to get, but the look on Scott’s face told him he was probably wrong to believe they had more of a chance. 

“I don’t know man.” 

Stiles knew that most of the sorrow he heard in his best friend's voice was because of Allison, but it still sucked hearing. Stiles pulled into Scott’s driveway and Scott got out of the Jeep. He waved his friend goodbye and disappeared into the house. He drove back to his house in silence. Thinking about what Deaton told Scott.

***  
A week went by, and in Stiles’s mind it was another week lost, and another week closer to Junior year. He had been practicing lacrosse with Scott and Isaac in an attempt to be sure that coach would put him in on first line, especially with how he played at the championship last year. But this week he was by himself. Isaac and Scott were both at the clinic all week, and Lydia was with Allison all the time. 

Lydia Martin. Stiles was still infatuated with her. He had even let his hair grow out, and started wearing tighter clothes to get her attention. But let's be real, he didn't get new clothes his old clothes were fitting tighter and better because of practicing and running trying to keep up with Scott. Neither of which were working to win over Lydia.

_Love unrequited._

On days like today when Stiles researched random things on his computer, his thoughts often drifted to things he couldn't have. Today he was on more of a depressing roll. His thoughts started to drift from Lydia, to having a better relationship with his dad - which that was strained since his dad lost his badge temporarily, then to how he missed his mom, and how he wishes Scott would spend more time together. 

Sure they went to the movies that one time, and they practice lacrosse but aside from those things Scott spends all of his time trying to get Allison back. None of his plans involve Stiles. This is when Stiles started to think that there was no way this could be the best there was. He wouldn’t feel this shitty. 

Research wasn’t getting anywhere so he laid down on his bed. Knowing that there was nothing he would have to do. His dad was working nights and lord knows Scott wouldn’t have time for him tonight. He jumped a little when his phone buzzed.

**From Derek:  
Meet on the service road outside the preserve. D.**

“Ugh. Well at least someone wants to see me. Even if they hate me.” 

Stiles pulled himself from his mattress and headed out to the Jeep. Somewhere in the back of his mind Scott’s voice rang out with the regression to the mean, but he pushed it away. 

Stiles parked next to the Camaro on the service road. No one passing by would see them, but he saw Derek standing in the dark in front of the Camero. 

“Sup sourwolf? Where is everyone else?” 

The anxiousness bubbled in Stiles’s stomach. Sure he was in love with Lydia, but he was definitely not staring at Derek, nope. Okay fine he was, Stiles realized after the two hours of holding the wolf up in the pool that he was not entirely straight, he was Bi, but as far as anyone knew he had it bad for Lydia. Derek just stared at Stiles. Who was desperately trying to hide his attraction. 

“Okayyyy. So just us then? Dude I'm answering the call of the wild here. What are we doing?”

“Shutting up.” His voice was rough, and Stiles liked it. 

“There have been some Pixies screwing with everyone in the woods. We are going to hunt them down and make them leave.” Stiles mouth dropped. _Pixies?_ Derek had turned and walked into the woods, forcing Stiles to scramble after him. 

“Pixies, like little people with wings? Like Tinkerbell?” He could barely hide the amusement from his voice. There was no way Derek needed him to help with a Tinkerbell. 

“No, not like Tinkerbell. They are tiny, ugly little blue creatures that spew magic.” 

“Like in Harry Potter?” Derek just grunted at Stiles, essentially telling him he was right. Stiles did a little fist pump showing his excitement that something from that series was real. 

Stiles’s silence was short lived. When he finally caught up to Derek, walking side by side his curiosity peaked. 

“So, why me?” Derek snorted at the question. 

“What?” The wolf acted as though he hadn’t heard Stiles correctly. Even though they both knew he heard him loud and clear. 

“Why call me? I'm just a human what am I supposed to do to a Pixie?” Derek rolled his eyes at Stiles’s flailing arm movements. What Stiles didn’t know was that Derek trusted him, more than most. Stiles was pretty sure Derek would use him as a human shield the first chance he got. 

“Everyone else was busy.” That was all the wolf said. 

_I'm the last choice. Great._

Stiles felt disheartened knowing he was the last choice for Derek, even though he knew there was nothing he could do against Pixies or anything supernatural. 

“Derek.” 

The wolf stopped and was about to open his mouth to tell Stiles to shut up when he caught sight of the teen. Standing perfectly still and looking up into the tree canopy. He raised a long thin finger to where his eyes were set. Derek followed the direction until his eyes spotted 5 little blue bodies buzzing about the branches. 

“You are on Hale Pack territory. What is your purpose here?” Derek’s voice caught the Pixies attention. Stiles couldn’t hear anything but little laughter, and saw them mimic Derek. Who was growing angrier by the minute. 

“Derek I wouldn’t…” 

“Shut up Stiles.” Stiles lifted his hands in defeat. Something didn’t feel right about how the Pixies were hovering closer to them. _Regression to the god damned mean._ Stiles knew this was going to be the tipping point. 

“Okay you scrawny little bastards…” Derek’s eyes flashed red but before he could say anything else the closest Pixie clapped it's hands together and this green mist surrounded Derek. _Fuck. Fuck._ With wicked giggles the Pixies disappeared. 

“Derek, are you okay?”

“Stiles?” Derek's voice sounded weird, different. 

“This is how it starts…. Fucking Pixies.”


	2. Winds of Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have changed between Derek and Stiles. The problem... someone else has noticed that Stiles isn't quite right anymore.

Stiles stood there frozen, staring at Derek. He was trying to assess what was happening to the wolf without stepping into his space. What worried Stiles was he could hear Derek’s breathing change. It was heavy, and it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand. 

“Hey big guy, you alright over there?” 

_what the hell is wrong with him?_ Stiles waited for an answer, when there was none he swallowed and stepped toward Derek. In a flash Derek had slammed Stiles against the nearest tree. Stiles could hear Derek inhale his scent. This shouldn't be this hot, and Stiles definitely shouldn’t be turned on right now. 

“Hey there buddy, getting a whiff of good old me? Seriously do I smell weird or something?” As fast as Derek grabbed him, he let go of him and stepped back. Stiles watched as the wolf’s body appeared to shake. 

“Stiles. You. Need. To. Leave.” each word was strained through Derek’s clinched teeth. 

“What are you actually going to rip my throat out with your teeth?” A strange flash of relief flooded his body. _Maybe this time he will actually do it._ In that moment Stiles was okay with dying be Derek’s hand. In fact that was the way he preferred. A look crossed Derek’s face that Stiles couldn’t place. 

“Come on man, what the heck is wrong with you? Did they poison you or something?” Stiles was still backed against the tree, and Derek took one step closer to him. 

The wolf was still shaking, and Stiles wanted to grab him and tell him he would be okay, but he knew he wouldn’t live much longer after that. 

“Stiles. I'm not going to ask again. Leave.” Derek’s voice was almost too quiet. 

“What is wrong with you?” Stiles blurted out. Clearly set on not leaving. 

“It is a spell called Lycanthra.” Derek admitted.

“Okay, that's good. We know the name.. so we can find a way to reverse it.” Derek was instantly shaking his head. When he spoke again Stiles thought he was going to throw up. 

“No. It is killing me. And I intend on letting it kill me.” 

“W-what? There has to be an _or_ in there somewhere. Spells always have an alternative. You just won't tell me.” Stiles tone turned accusatory. “You would rather die than tell me.” 

He was angry now. What the hell did Derek want with Stiles in the woods if he wasn't going to let him help with a spell. 

“Lycanthra forces my wolf to the surface and if I want to survive it my wolf needs to claim someone.” Stiles sucked in a sharp breath when Derek finished. This was just great. Derek was more set on dying than letting his wolf claim someone. 

“Okay, so we find someone for your wolf to claim. Why is dying a better choice than getting laid?” Stiles didn't want Derek to die. 

“I would lose control. I could hurt them or kill them. I can't just find someone at random Stiles. Could you imagine that?” the teen knew what he meant. If he wolfed out the chick would freak out. Derek could die either way. 

“How much time do we have?” Stiles felt numb. He was asking how long they had until Derek dies. Until he would watch as another person he cared about died in front of him. This would possibly break him as much as watching his mother die. Derek looked at the ground. Clenching his fists and releasing them. In any attempt to control his wolf.   
“Not long. I can feel the wolf going feral.” 

And that was it. Stiles was going to watch Derek die. His little crush on the Alpha slammed into the forefront of his mind. _He never said ‘she’._ He wasn't going to watch Derek die. 

“I… I'll do it.” His voice was so low he wasn’t sure Derek heard him until he protested. 

“Stiles, did you not hear me when I said the person could get hurt? Or killed?” 

Stiles didn't even realize he was moving until he was inches from Derek. 

“God don't kill me.” He mumbled before crashing his lips to Derek’s. The wolf was surprised at first, and Stiles thought that maybe Derek didn’t want it to be him, but then Derek’s tongue was moving asking for entrance. A groan escaped Stiles as Derek's tongue explored his mouth. When they finally broke apart Stiles was gasping for air and Derek trailed his tongue down the teens throat, tasting him. That shouldn't be as hot as it was for Stiles, the motion made his hardening dick twitch. 

Suddenly they were on the mossy ground, and Derek was rutting his hips against Stiles’s thigh. A moan escaped Derek that would haunt Stiles’s fantasies forever. When Derek looked up at Stiles his eyes were glowing red. Stiles scrambled to remove his clothes while Derek still had any grip of control. Stiles knew this was going to be rough, and quick. 

“How are we doing this?” His voice sounded wrecked. 

“Hands and knees.” Derek’s voice was shaky and Stiles knew this was it. This was going to be his last chance to see Derek with any control. With a deep breath he got onto his hands and knees and just hoped that Derek would prep him without claws. The teen tensed when he felt Derek’s finger at his opening slick with spit. 

“Are you sure about this?” Derek’s voice was close to Stiles’s ear. 

“Yes.” Stiles replied in almost a gasp. He was about to pass out from anticipation. Stiles wasn’t going to tell Derek this was his first time, he wasn't going to let him die.

His mind went blank as Derek eased his finger inside Stiles. He was thankful that Derek was being as gentle as possible, but he knew he wouldn't be able to hold on to control much longer. Derek pushed in a second finger, then a third. Stiles felt like he was going to pass out. He had no longer felt pain, just a dull ache, but the anticipation was killing him. 

“Derek. Please.” he sounded needy, but he could feel the wolf behind him violently shake. He was answered with a growl as Derek pushed himself into Stiles. A strangled moan escaped Stiles as Derek buried himself into the teen.

Derek’s control was slipping and Stiles could feel the claws gripping at his hips. Digging into the flesh where he knew there would be marks for weeks, and they would scar. The pain was forgotten when Derek hit his golden spot. Then he hit it again. Stiles was biting into his arm to keep from being too loud. The last thing they needed was someone stumbling upon them. His body shuddered as Derek ran his fangs up the back of his neck. It was too much for him. Stiles came untouched while Derek thrust into him. It wasn’t much longer for Derek. He came, pouring into Stiles. 

When they came down from the high Stiles got up from the ground and got dressed. He surprisingly wasn't as sore as he expected, but his hips hurt. He really needed to get home and clean the claw marks. Derek was putting his jacket back on when Stiles spoke again.

“So, you're good right? You're not going to die?” Stiles couldn’t quite look him in the eyes. 

“Yeah. I am not going to die now. My wolf is still a little on edge. I'm not sure how much control I will have for a while.” Stiles just nodded. He knew that was essentially the ‘okay I'm leaving’ line he was waiting for. 

“Well, uh, good. I'm going to go if you don't need me anymore.” Derek just nodded. That is when Stiles decided to leave. He didn’t run to his Jeep, but he got there pretty quick. Knowing Derek could smell emotions he wanted to get out of there before he had to explained himself. 

When Stiles was alone in his room the realization of what happened in the woods crashed down on him.

“Holy shit.” 

His breathing picked up pace and his hands were shaking. _You need to calm down. It wasn’t a big deal._ Except it was. He just lost his v-card to Derek. ,em >Holy shit I just had sex with Derek Hale! The marks on his hips started to throb. He really needed to shower and clean them up. At least he would be able to hide them from everyone. 

*** 

Stiles wasn’t surprised at how Derek acted like nothing happened in the days that followed. However he was surprised when Derek would show up in his room late at night and would jerk him off and he would blow Derek. Then Derek would leave without saying much. It wasn’t always like that, sometimes Derek would call and Stiles would go to the loft, then he would leave. 

This whole routine went on for two weeks, and never once did Scott ask why Stiles was so tired when they practiced lacrosse, which the practices were becoming few and far between. Stiles knew that this wasn't something that meant anything to Derek, but for him he started to feel something. 

Stiles was supposed to go to practice with Isaac and Scott today, but Scott called to say he couldn’t make it. Apparently Allison wanted to meet to try and work things out. Figures. Stiles was looking forward to getting his mind off of Derek for a while, but it looked like he was going to spend another day in his room waiting for something to happen. He was sitting at his desk when the Sheriff knocked on the door jam. 

“Hey son, I'm off to work, but you have a visitor. Don't get into trouble.” Stiles turned confused. _Who would come visit me?_ Then when his dad moved there stood Isaac. 

“Didn’t Scott text you that he wouldn't make it today?” Stiles sounded more bitter than he intended. Isaac just stood there, almost looking like a lost puppy. “Sorry, come in.” 

Isaac timidly walked into the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed. They both were quiet until they were sure the Sheriff was gone. 

“Stiles I wanted to talk to you about… Derek.” Stiles tensed. He knew Isaac had seen him leave the loft in the wee hours of the mornings, or at least could hear him and smell him in the loft. 

“Stiles, I know you don't see me as a close friend but I am worried about you. I know what is going on with you and him. I can also smell the despair when you are leaving. It has turned into depression. It smells like burnt rubber.” Isaac crinkled his nose and finally looked up at Stiles. “Just tell me why you keep letting this happen if you hate it so much.”

Stiles was quiet for a minute. _Do I really hate it?_ Then the reality came to him and he knew he had to tell someone. Since Scott was being a shitty friend and Isaac was so willing to be there, Stiles let the wall down. Releasing a breath Stiles shook his head. 

“If this is the only relationship I will ever have with him then I will take it.” Isaac frowned. The slightly younger teen was reminded of his relationship with his late father. 

“Stiles it isn’t healthy, or good for you. But I am here if you want to talk.” Stiles was about to thank Isaac when both of their phones buzzed.

**From Derek:  
Pack meeting. Loft 10 minutes. D.**

They both looked at each other puzzled. 

“I will drive. Better not make the sourwolf wait.” Stiles huffed and got up. The two got into the Jeep and drove to the loft. 

When they pulled up there was a motorcycle parked next to the Camaro that neither of them recognized. Just the sight of it made Stiles’s stomach drop. Someone else was with Derek. He felt jealous, but then realized he really didn't have a right to be. Isaac pulled the loft door open and Derek walked around the corner from his room putting his shirt on. Stiles noticed that his hair was disheveled, but what he saw next made bile rise in his throat. A woman was trailing behind him. She was short and curvy with dark hair and a tanned complexion. She looked flustered. There was a low whine from Isaac that answered Stiles’s unasked question. 

_They slept together._

Stiles’s stomach dropped. It officially sealed his thoughts that he was disposable. He and Derek had been together _kind of_ last night and now he just moved on. In less than 12 hours. He barely registered the rest of the pack entering the loft, what he did notice was that Derek didn’t look at him or even acknowledge his existence. _I'm disposable._ With that he realized that a piece of him broke every time he or Derek left after a late night encounter. Stiles started to wonder just how disposable he really was. Derek never wanted him in the pack, that was clear. He hadn’t been paying attention to anything the pack had said, and he didn’t really care either. 

What he did notice was Isaac kept looking at him with these eyes like if he looked away for too long Stiles would suddenly be gone. _That’s it. I need to leave._ Without saying a word Stiles slipped out of the open loft door and headed down to his Jeep. There was no way Isaac didn’t notice he left, but he was sure that he was the only one. On the way home Stiles made himself a deal. He was going to avoid Derek as best he could. 

When he got home he shut and locked his window, shooting a text to Isaac saying if he wanted to see him to knock so he could come in, but other than that he was done. Isaac understood which made Stiles feel like crap for treating him like a lost dog. 

***

Two weeks. That was how long Stiles had managed to avoid Derek. It helped that Derek hadn’t really tried to reach out to Stiles in that time either. That hurt Stiles a little. He realized that whatever they had didn’t mean anything to Derek, although he couldn’t say it was really a realization. He knew that all along, he just hoped. And hope was a dangerous thing for Stiles, that he learned when his mother was sick. 

He simply felt dead inside. Scott was ignoring him for Allison, albeit not intentionally but it still didn’t help. The Sheriff was constantly working, they occasionally shared a meal together but whatever supernatural thing was in town had caused a lot of problems. 

Stiles had been mulling around the living room when there was a knock at the door. He knew the tone of that knock. “Come in!” His voice didn’t sound like his regular voice, it sounded empty. So he wasn’t surprised when Isaac all but busted the door down getting into the house. 

“Stiles?” the younger teen’s voice was frantic. 

“Hey, yeah I am in the kitchen.” Stiles watched the relief wash through Isaac when the teen finally laid eyes on him. “Whoa buddy what is wrong?” It was Stiles’ turn to ask questions.

Isaac looked worse for wear. His shirt slightly torn, and blood had stained his jeans. 

“We had an issue with the Alpha Pack.” Isaac’s voice was shaky, and that worried Stiles. 

“They… Boyd and…Erica…” Isaac could barely speak. His voice choked with sobs that threatened to tear through him. Before he realized what he was doing, Stiles was pulling Isaac to the couch sitting him down next to him. 

“Tell me what happened.” Isaac took deep breathes trying to calm down. 

He wasn’t afraid of showing emotion in front of Stiles, they were past this point. Stiles had cried in front of Isaac, and Isaac cried in front of Stiles when he opened up about his dad. So that wasn’t it. This was because whatever happened _just happened._ Stiles could guess what had happened but he needed Isaac to tell him. 

“They challenged the pack, and then they… they killed them. Boyd and Erica are dead. My friends are dead.” His voice barely a whisper, finalizing what was true. 

“I freaked out when I could barely hear your voice. I… you are my only friend left. I can’t lose you.” 

That punched Stiles right in the stomach. He didn’t know what else to do other than pull Isaac into him and hold him while he cried. Isaac fell asleep leaning on Stiles, and he didn’t mind. What did catch him off guard was his dad coming home and just stared at the scene on the couch. Isaac was dead asleep being exhausted from the day's events and losing his best friends. 

Stiles gently pulled himself from the couch and followed his father into the kitchen. 

“Okay, we need to talk.” John’s voice was quiet, and Stiles knew where this was going. 

“Dad. Can you just sit down for this?” His father’s eyes widened. The teen soon realized that his father hadn’t expected this to come so easy. Stiles figured at this point, Boyd and Erica’s bodies would turn up and he needed to know about the wolves. John sat. 

“Okay, let’s get the easy part over with because I am sure that is the only part you are going to believe.” 

Stiles sunk down in the chair across from John. He knew that no matter of whispering was going to keep their conversation from Isaac who would wake up eventually. Stiles hoped that it would be sooner than later to help him with the confession. With a deep breath Stiles looked straight at his father. 

“I’m done lying. You and I both know that you haven’t believed a damn thing I have said in months. Hell probably the last year. But Dad, I _need_ you to believe what I am going to tell you.” 

John nodded, Stiles could tell that the man was bracing himself to be disappointed with more lies from his only child, and he really did hope that he believed him. 

“I know you are going to question my relationship with Isaac. We are just friends. Yes I still love Lydia, but I’m not only into women dad. So you weren’t wrong outside of the club when you said I wasn’t gay before. I’m bisexual. There I said it. No I don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Sorry to disappoint you.” 

Stiles took a breath waiting for his dad to flip about not having grandchildren or something but instead he just nodded. When the silence stretched past comfortable Stiles continued.

“Now for the part I don’t think you will believe. Supernatural things are real. I know, don’t look at me like I’m crazy. Scott is a werewolf, and so are most of my friends. Jackson was a kanima turned werewolf. The things we thought were just folklore are true dad. The creatures are what cause the bodies to turn up. Not Scott and the pack they are stopping what kills people. But that is why I am out late, that is why I am injured or getting into trouble. We are trying to protect people. I’m trying to protect you.” 

Stiles felt out of breath, and he couldn’t look at his dad. He just couldn’t see anymore disappointment on his father’s face. He heard his father sigh, but he didn’t say anything. 

“Say something.” His voice almost a whisper, he felt sick.

The Sheriff cleared his throat. “Son, I am the one who is supposed to protect you. I get that you want to protect me but seriously. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” 

 

_What?_ Stiles finally looked up at his dad. 

“You… you believe me?” He was dumbfounded. He didn’t expect that his father would believe him so easily, but with one look he knew that his dad was on the edge.   
“Not completely, but something tells me that this isn’t a lie. Is Isaac one?” Stiles was about to reply when Isaac walked into the room. 

“Yes Sheriff.” 

He placed his hand on Stiles’ arm showing his support in his decision to tell his father. Isaac flashed his eyes at the Sheriff and allowed his fangs to grow, but remained completely calm. John almost stumbled back, but he stood his ground. Looking from Isaac to Stiles. 

“Well I believe you, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not mad that you didn’t tell me sooner. But it makes sense. I’m just glad it isn’t drugs or something.” 

The disappointment vanished from the Sheriff’s eyes and composure and Stiles felt like at least one weight was lifted off of him. 

“Sheriff I need to tell you about what happened tonight.” Isaac’s words surprised Stiles. 

“Please Isaac, call me John. Have a seat.” He motioned to the open seat to Stiles’ right. 

Stiles sat silently as Isaac told the Sheriff about Boyd and Erica, and explaining how he might be finding their bodies soon. All Stiles could think about what how relieved he was that his relationship with his father may still have a fighting chance. Now the dark pit in his stomach was due to Derek, and he didn’t know how long he would be able to handle how he was feeling.


	3. God Damned Pixies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hurt and frustrated with the whole situation, Stiles once again finds himself vulnerable because of Derek.

Silently in the night Stiles wondered what Derek was feeling, how he was handling the deaths of Boyd and Erica. _He is handling it with Braeden._ He felt a bitterness in his mouth just thinking about them. In reality he thought about it, he had no right to be that mad. He and Derek never put a label on anything. Hell they never spoke about anything. Stiles’ mind raced around trying to pull any memory of them every talking, or even speaking during their encounters. He came up empty. It was always a series of grunts and groans from either of them and then they would part ways wordlessly. 

Even though he believed he had no right to be mad, it hurt. _This wasn’t how it was supposed to be._ With a heavy sigh Stiles plopped down on his bed. It seemed like he spent most of his time there lately. Even when Isaac was over, they just laid in his bed comforting each other for different reasons. That’s when his phone buzzed, and he almost threw up on the spot when he read the message.

**From Derek:  
There is a pack meeting in the Preserve in 30 minutes. Please be there.**

“Since when does Derek Hale use the word please.” 

After further examination Stiles realized that the text was only sent to him. _Great another venture into the woods together._ Feeling the dread in his stomach, Stiles grabbed his keys and headed out to the preserve. It would take him at least 20 minutes to get there. 

***

When he pulled up to the service road where all of this started his stomach sank. He didn’t want this to be a confrontation, but he knew he would have to face Derek at some point. Relief soon followed as other cars showed up behind him. 

As everyone gathered around, Stiles forced himself to look up at Derek. Braeden was by his side, but for once Derek was looking at him. Directly at him. He felt like he would melt under the green eyes, but he quickly looked away from them. Ever so often he would catch a glimpse of Derek looking at him as if he was concerned. _Sure_ now _you care. Just get it over with._ As if reading his mind Derek spoke, making Stiles jump a little. 

“So everyone knows about the Alpha pack situation. They are gone, and they are not coming back. Braeden saw to that. But we have this little problem here in the woods.” Stiles snorted. He knew exactly where this was going, and he didn’t really want to be a part of it. Not again. 

“There are pixies in the woods, and they are starting to terrorize the town. We asked them to leave before but they didn’t.” 

Stiles barked a laugh. “Asked? If I remember correctly you called them scrawny bastards.” 

Derek growled a little, and Stiles looked away. He didn’t really want to think about his last frolic through the woods. It hurt too much. But watching Braeden stand beside Derek as he spoke made his chest ache, and the darkness from his stomach cloud his mind. _Disposable._

“Anyway, we are going to split up, and walk into the woods to the clearing where we found them before. These are the pairs - Jackson and Lydia, Isaac and Scott, Allison and Braeden, Stiles and myself.” 

Stiles’ head snapped up at the last pairing. _What is he getting at?_ He was about to protest when they heard laughter from deep in the woods. He had no other choice. 

The two walked together, Stiles kept a further distance from Derek that he usually would have and the wolf noticed. 

“So you have been avoiding me.” He spoke very matter of factly, but Stiles wasn’t going to give in. He stayed silent, treating the wolf how he was always treated. Derek didn’t say anything more until they neared the clearing. Stiles had no doubt that the wolf could smell his anxiety. 

“Deja Vu.” Derek spoke. When they stopped in the clearing Stiles finally responded in a low breath knowing no one else but Derek would hear him. 

“You can’t lose your v-card twice. Thus Deja Vu is invalid.” Stiles finally made eye contact with Derek, and the look he saw plastered across his face was enough to know he shocked him. But that wasn’t where the shock ended.

The pixies came out of nowhere, at least no one saw where they came from. They were fast little buggers, and Stiles could barely dodge them. The wolves swiped at the air while Allison and Braeden shot their various weapons hitting their mark every time. Stiles had stopped moving, and he was just staring at Braeden thinking about how she was a better fit for Derek than him. That’s when it happened. Stiles felt a shock to his chest, and he froze. Well he felt frozen. He couldn’t move. The edges of his vision were going dark and the last thing he saw was Isaac running at him.

***

Everyone panicked. Allison shot the last Pixie out of the air, and watched as Isaac ran to Stiles. 

“He isn’t responding! I can barely hear his heartbeat!” Isaac’s voice was frantic. Scott stood frozen, Allison didn’t know what to do, and Jackson actually seemed worried while he hugged Lydia. 

“Take him to Deaton! He will know how to fix this!” Allison spoke quickly. All the while Derek just looked on. He didn’t move, he didn’t say anything he just looked like he didn’t care. Isaac watched as Braeden walked over to him 

“Let’s go. They don’t need you to handle the little problem.” Derek’s eyes flicked to Braeden, and flashed red but he let her lead him away. 

Isaac didn’t waste any time. He scooped Stiles into his arms and ran for the Jeep with Scott hot on his heels. Without any hesitation Isaac reached into Stiles’ front pocket and ripped his keys from their confines and loaded the unconscious body into the Jeep, Scott climbing in to cradle his best friends head. 

“Don’t worry about speed limit. John would get you out of it.” Scott finally spoke. Eager to get Stiles to Deaton.

The Jeep came to a screeching halt at the back of the Vet’s office. Deaton met them at the door and ushered them into the back room. Isaac lay Stiles on the metal table while Deaton began to ask questions and examine Stiles. 

Scott took control, Isaac could no longer handle what was going on and fell into a chair in the corner just watching on as his new best friend was clinging to life. Once Scott was done rambling about the pixies, and Deaton checked every vital twice over the man finally spoke. 

“Stiles will be fine. The spell the Pixies cast was a sleeping spell. He needs to sleep it off. Stiles will be fine in a matter of hours.” 

Deaton was putting some things back into cupboards but he could hear Scott and Isaac sigh in relief. 

“You best take him home, and let him sleep. Don’t hover. Remember a watched pot doesn’t boil.” Deaton and his damned sayings. 

Isaac reluctantly scooped Stiles up again and with the help of Scott he got the older teen home and safely put into bed. Neither wolf wanted to change him, they didn’t want to invade Stiles’s privacy like that, but they did take off his shoes and cover him with a blanket. Scott left first, and Isaac lingered until Scott realized he wasn’t being followed out by Isaac. 

“Dude he will be okay. Let's go back to my place. He will call when he wakes up.” Isaac sighed and quickly scribbled a note and left it on the nightstand by his phone, then left.


	4. Wordless Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek realizes that something is wrong. He realizes how much of a jerkwolf he is being. Not only that, he is being tricked. Growling and yelling ensues.

_Pixies were everywhere. It was like a swarm. He was just standing there. The loud bang of a shotgun was still ringing in his ears and it finally registered._

_“Stiles?” The teen looked from his chest back up. Locking eyes. There was blood. So much blood._

_“Der?” His body fell. I barely caught him before he crashed to the ground._

_That smell. Copper, and adderall. It was too much. There was too much. Pulling the boy to my chest not caring that I would never get the stain out of my favorite shirt. Trying to pull in his scent was almost impossible with all of the blood._

_“Promise… take care of my dad.” Stiles choked voice rung in my ears._

_“Stiles you are going to be fine.” when did I start crying? There was a choked laugh. I opened my eyes blood coating his lips._

_“I’m dying Der, and I'm sorry.” I could hear the pack growling. They knew what was coming._

_“For what?” what could this boy be sorry for? I'm the one who should be sorry. I couldn't save him. And this was all my fault._

_“Stiles… I....lo..” I was cut off._

_“I know sourwolf. I do too. Promise, take care of them.”_

_Tears welling in my eyes were blurring my vision. I was almost thankful. I hated seeing him like this. Turning away in the briefest of moments I saw the smoking gun held in Braeden’s hands. I smelt no remorse, no sorrow. She did this on purpose. ‘eliminating the threat’. The pack could smell it too._

_The grip on my shirt tightened. I spun my head back to him. His body shuddered._

_“Der.” then he was gone. The brown eyes that haunted me were empty as his eyelids closed and he became limp in my arms._

_“Stiles! No. STILES!”_

Derek sat up in bed. His loft was dark, and his heart was pounding so hard he could feel it behind his eyes. His breathing shallow. Derek felt a warm body move next to him, a flash of relief hit him until the owner of the body spoke. 

“Der? What's wrong?” He had to suppress a growl. He didn’t know why he had her in his bed now. 

Memories from his nightmare brushed back to him, and he got out of bed. Something was bothering him. So much that his skin was crawling. The last time he felt like this, it was Kate in his bed. This time he wouldn't be fooled. 

“What was that stunt in the woods Braeden?” the girl looked at him with mock confusion. He could see right through her. 

“What?”

Derek paced. “Part of my pack was in trouble and you pulled me away. I'm the Alpha. Don’t play stupid. Why did you pull me away? Why are you doing any of this?” He gestured around the room. Knowing he hit the mark. 

“He can't give you what you want. He can't give you a family, give you pack. I can Der.” 

His blood was boiling. Stiles gave him pack and a family. Maybe not in the traditional werewolf sense, but he did. 

“Don’t call me that!” His voice boomed through the loft. “This is done. I'm done. You need to be gone when I come back. God help me if you ever come back.” He grabbed a shirt and his jacket and left the loft. 

***

Stiles woke with a start. It was dark outside and he was still dressed. He hadn't remembered going to sleep. Then everything flooded back. The pack meeting in the woods, Derek pairing off with him. Their short conversation, then the fight with the Pixies. ,em>Fucking Pixies. Then everything faded to black. 

“I was hit with a fucking Pixie spell!” Stiles declared.

He looked around the room expecting to find at least Scott there, but he was alone. Frantically he grabbed at his phone, finding a sticky note with Isaacs script. 

**_Stiles, please text me when you wake up. Please. I.L._ **

Stiles felt his chest tighten. Isaac cared, and there is probably a good reason for him waking up alone. But it sucked. He did as Isaac asked telling him he was okay, and that he was just going to go back to sleep. It was a lie. He was panicking. He was alone, Derek didn’t care that he was struck by the Pixie’s spell, and he didn’t care that he slowly tore Stiles apart. That is when the tears started, and Stiles couldn’t do anything to stop them.

The tears turned into sobs. His body shook as he cradled his head in his hands. This wasn’t how everything was supposed to go. He wasn't supposed to feel empty and alone. It didn’t take long for him to calm down. But his face was stained with tears and he was still breathing hard. He hadn't heard is window open. 

“Stiles!” 

Derek’s voice cleared the air, and the teen stiffened. He had to be dreaming. There was no reason for Derek to be here. Stiles stared down at his hands.

“one, two…” he counted until he hit ten. _Jesus, this is real._ When he looked up Derek was standing beside his bed, staring at him.

The green eyes burning a hole into his skin. Stiles didn’t want to deal with this, he didn’t know if he could deal with this. So he rolled back over onto his side turning his back to the Alpha.

“Stiles.” The teen could hear the shaky voice. “Talk to me.” Derek’s voice was firm, and anger pulsed through Stiles.

“Why Derek?” He sat up and turned toward Derek. “What do you want? Did you come here to finish what the Pixies started tonight? To rip my throat out? Just fucking do it already, I would rather not draw it out.” 

Stiles watched as Derek stiffened. It surprised the teen because it wasn't Derek’s usual angry stiff form. He was grimacing. 

_Derek fucking Hale is grimacing?_ A low whine reached Stiles’s ears. _And he is whining._ His anger faded to confusion. 

“What’s wrong with you?” 

“You died.” Derek’s voice was clear. “I was asleep, you died in my arms and I couldn't save you.” 

Stiles hadn’t realized that he had left his bed until he stood in front of Derek. Examining the wolf’s face he could see the tears that threatened to fall. 

“Well I am alive. The Pixies didn’t kill me.” Derek just shook his head. Stiles’s knew there was more to it but he wasn't going to say anything. 

“Is it true? What you said in the woods?” 

This time Stiles stiffened. He had almost forgotten his little confession to Derek before the Pixies attacked. His heart sped up, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. That had answered Derek’s question. 

“I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have. I should have just died.” There Derek went with his self depreciation. Stiles knew Derek always treated himself like this, always denying himself anything. There were a lot of things Stiles knew, and one of those things was that he was still disposable.

“I wasn’t going to let you die you idiot. Although it may have been easier for the both of us if Braeden had been a little earlier on her arrival.” At the mention of Braeden Derek’s eyes burned red and a growl built in his throat, and Stiles could tell he touched a nerve. “Sorry. Trouble in paradise?” 

_Damnit. Your ever running mouth._ Derek’s eyes faded back to green. “I don’t know why I asked. It isn’t my business. Anyway why are you here, don't you have other ways to get a release?” 

Stiles was back to being spiteful. He knew he was disposable to Derek so why was he here?   
“Stiles, I didn't come here for… wait. Is that all you thought I wanted you for?” the wolf was quick to catch onto Stiles’s self depreciation. Derek gently grabbed Stiles’s arms just below his shoulders. 

“Stiles.” Tears were forming in the teens eyes again. Having Derek this close was too much.

“Do you do this… did you do this every time after, how long have you been like this?” Stiles scoffed, since when did Derek care. 

“I don’t know when was the last time we were together, oh that's right the pack meeting. The one where I left and no one but Isaac noticed. You know the last time I was in your presence.” 

The anger faded into the depression Stiles had felt for weeks. If this was going to happen it might as well happen now.

“And no I haven't broken down like this every time. No I started to fall apart when Isaac came to me asking why I always smelt like depression. That's the burnt rubber smell you are smelling right now. He knew Derek. He asked why I kept doing this to myself and I gave him an honest answer. Then I realized that a piece of me died every time. And when Isaac came to me after Boyd and Erica died I told my dad about the wolves, and that I was bisexual. Then I stayed in my room, and I let myself be depressed. 

“Then I woke up utterly alone after the Pixie spell. Not even Scott was here. There was a note from Isaac which I knew he must have taken me home but still it hurt to know that he is the only one who cares.” 

He was out of breath, he rambled. Yet he waited for Derek to say something knowing it wouldn't be much. But what he did say almost knocked Stiles backward.

“What did you tell Isaac. You said you were honest. Why did you let this keep happening?” Stiles broke away and sat down on the edge of his bed. 

“I.. I told him that if that was the only way I would get to have a relationship with you I would take it. But then I saw you with Braeden and I knew that it meant nothing to you so I decided to just get a clean break.”

When Stiles looked at Derek he couldn’t tell what Derek was thinking, and he couldn’t place the look on his face. But the silence was deafening. 

“Braeden made me feel disposable. I saw that today. That's why I was vulnerable, I realized how much better Braeden was for you. So much better than me. I can't give you what she can, family… pack.”

Stiles almost jumped when Derek’s voice boomed through the room. 

“Why do you keep saying that? Why do people keep saying that? You, Stiles are not disposable. I am a fucking idiot. Okay. A straight up asshole because I fucked this up majorly. But you… Braeden can't give me anything but anger. You give me what she could never give me.”

“Derek, you were all pro Braeden what the hell changed that?” Curiosity was peaked. Derek sat next to Stiles on the bed. 

“The pixies didn’t kill you in my dream. Braeden did. And when I woke up I felt like Kate was next to me again and Braeden kept calling me Der, and told me she could give me a family and pack and I yelled at her. I threatened her because you… Stiles you make me feel pack, you make me feel family.”

The two were silent for a while. Just sitting next to each other, but Stiles was getting tired. “Will you stay with me?” He almost didn't want to ask, but Derek stood and shrugged off his jacket. Wordlessly answering Stiles’s question.


End file.
